As most of you know, we have decided to adopt.
All in all it was our decision, but largely in part it was chosen for us...
Given to us
as a gift from the Lord.
There were many years prior to marriage,
where Brian and I would talk and dream of adopting.
When it came down to it,
I was afraid.
Anytime, anyone would mention adoption,
while we were still trying to have our own,
I would quickly shut down.
The Lord has opened my heart
wide open to it again.
And now we wait...
wait in eager expectation to see what God is going to do.
I just recently read a book given to me by my pastor
called First Love by Ann Kiemel Anderson
It was incredible.
For the first time,
I was able to relate with someone's family journey.
She wrote: "for years I thought I would NEVER be a mother. that the road would NEVER turn a corner. yes. my childhood dream of motherhood had to die before God could resurrect it in a far more powerful way than I ever imagined."
How true this statement is.
God is resurrecting this dream in our lives
that it far more powerful than we've ever imagined it to be.
Soooo...
Let me answer some of the questions you might be asking:
1. Who are you adopting through?
We are adopting through the House of Ruth.
I hyper-linked to their website, but I will try to summarize them for you. House of Ruth is a ministry. It is not an adoption agency. What is the difference? Well, there are a number of differences. House of Ruth facilitates adoptions that are primarily focused on the birth-mother. Their ministry is to woman who have found themselves in a crisis pregnancy and are faced with some big decisions. An adoption agency, primarily is focused on matching a family to a baby. Whereas, House of Ruth, is more focused on:
1) Preventing Abortion: Helping the women to see and understand the life that is in them.
2) Exploring all of the options for these women: Their goal is always to keep the baby and mother together, whether it be by providing resources directly or finding family that is willing and able to help.
3) Having families ready to adopt, when all of the options have been explored, and the mother simply cannot keep her child. This decision is always made out of a very humble place, knowing she cannot provide the type of home, family, life that she would like to.
House of Ruth facilitates round about 50 to 60 adoptions a year.
2) Will your adoption be open? What does open mean?
Yes...we will have an open adoption, which means we will maintain and open relationship with the birth-mother throughout our child's life. The level of openness is largely in part determined by us....what we are comfortable with. Could be pictures once a year...could be a visit once a year...it all depends and unfolds as we go along.
3) What does the process look like?
Well, in order to answer this question, I will preface it by saying that each organization has a different procedure that they follow.
Let me break this down into what we have completed thus far and what we yet need to complete.
Completed
-initial application
- orientation meeting
-Filing Paperwork: Birth-mother letter, Detailed info on us, photo collage, two letters of recommendation, pastoral recommendation.
-Interview to be approved and placed in the system.
Needs to be Completed
-Preliminary Home Study: the state of California requires a state licensed social worker to perform a "home study." They will come and interview us...look at our home...Pretty much they are trying to make sure that there will be no more children placed in the "system" as a result of this adoption.
-Placement: A birth-mother picks us using our "birth-mother letter" and references...we meet with her, pray, and decide if it's a good fit.
If it is a good match (on average this is 2 month-ish before the baby is born...can be the day of :)...We pick of the baby the day he/she is born
-Adoption lawyer is contacted and legal paperwork is prepared.
-Post-placement Home Study: Social Worker revisits us with the baby in the home.
-Adoption is completed via the adoption lawyer.
So....That's the Scoop.
Ultimately, right now we are waiting...waiting to be chosen by a birth-mother.
What questions do you have about adoption...About what we are doing?
I know I have missed a lot, as there is a lot to what we are doing, but your questions will help me:)
All in all it was our decision, but largely in part it was chosen for us...
Given to us
as a gift from the Lord.
There were many years prior to marriage,
where Brian and I would talk and dream of adopting.
When it came down to it,
I was afraid.
Anytime, anyone would mention adoption,
while we were still trying to have our own,
I would quickly shut down.
The Lord has opened my heart
wide open to it again.
And now we wait...
wait in eager expectation to see what God is going to do.
I just recently read a book given to me by my pastor
called First Love by Ann Kiemel Anderson
It was incredible.
For the first time,
I was able to relate with someone's family journey.
She wrote: "for years I thought I would NEVER be a mother. that the road would NEVER turn a corner. yes. my childhood dream of motherhood had to die before God could resurrect it in a far more powerful way than I ever imagined."
How true this statement is.
God is resurrecting this dream in our lives
that it far more powerful than we've ever imagined it to be.
Soooo...
Let me answer some of the questions you might be asking:
1. Who are you adopting through?
We are adopting through the House of Ruth.
I hyper-linked to their website, but I will try to summarize them for you. House of Ruth is a ministry. It is not an adoption agency. What is the difference? Well, there are a number of differences. House of Ruth facilitates adoptions that are primarily focused on the birth-mother. Their ministry is to woman who have found themselves in a crisis pregnancy and are faced with some big decisions. An adoption agency, primarily is focused on matching a family to a baby. Whereas, House of Ruth, is more focused on:
1) Preventing Abortion: Helping the women to see and understand the life that is in them.
2) Exploring all of the options for these women: Their goal is always to keep the baby and mother together, whether it be by providing resources directly or finding family that is willing and able to help.
3) Having families ready to adopt, when all of the options have been explored, and the mother simply cannot keep her child. This decision is always made out of a very humble place, knowing she cannot provide the type of home, family, life that she would like to.
House of Ruth facilitates round about 50 to 60 adoptions a year.
2) Will your adoption be open? What does open mean?
Yes...we will have an open adoption, which means we will maintain and open relationship with the birth-mother throughout our child's life. The level of openness is largely in part determined by us....what we are comfortable with. Could be pictures once a year...could be a visit once a year...it all depends and unfolds as we go along.
3) What does the process look like?
Well, in order to answer this question, I will preface it by saying that each organization has a different procedure that they follow.
Let me break this down into what we have completed thus far and what we yet need to complete.
Completed
-initial application
- orientation meeting
-Filing Paperwork: Birth-mother letter, Detailed info on us, photo collage, two letters of recommendation, pastoral recommendation.
-Interview to be approved and placed in the system.
Needs to be Completed
-Preliminary Home Study: the state of California requires a state licensed social worker to perform a "home study." They will come and interview us...look at our home...Pretty much they are trying to make sure that there will be no more children placed in the "system" as a result of this adoption.
-Placement: A birth-mother picks us using our "birth-mother letter" and references...we meet with her, pray, and decide if it's a good fit.
If it is a good match (on average this is 2 month-ish before the baby is born...can be the day of :)...We pick of the baby the day he/she is born
-Adoption lawyer is contacted and legal paperwork is prepared.
-Post-placement Home Study: Social Worker revisits us with the baby in the home.
-Adoption is completed via the adoption lawyer.
So....That's the Scoop.
Ultimately, right now we are waiting...waiting to be chosen by a birth-mother.
What questions do you have about adoption...About what we are doing?
I know I have missed a lot, as there is a lot to what we are doing, but your questions will help me:)
7 comments:
I love that you're allowing us to follow along on this journey and can't wait to see what (and who!) it leads to next.
Praying for you guys along the way...
The Sampras fam
Wow, that's so cool. It's really great to learn more of the details. Thanks, Jen!!
That was great to read, I was curious about those things. My question, once the baby is taken home does the birth Mom have the legal right to change her mind or does she give up that right in order for you to take the baby?
legally...she has 30 days to change her mind. There is a waiver that we can sign at the hospital, which is what they always encourage...This waiver gives all legal guardianship to us at that moment. In general, this is always the best because it provides a sense of closure for everyone. If this waiver is signed the 30 days is null and void, but she can still choose to wait the full 30 days. It is up to her.
Does that makes sense?
Gatcha. I can see how this could be the most stressfull time, right here. I pray that there is not issue here!
We are so very excited for you guys! Thanks for documenting this journey-it's nice to understand a little more about what this process is like.Do you guys know when you're having your preliminary home study?
I have yet to contact a local agency, but as soon as I contact an organization that can do it locally, we will be starting. It can take up to 2 even 3 months...depending on the social worker.We will see if we have time for that:) God might just surprise us?
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