Thursday, December 22, 2011

I want her to Know...

I want her to know that not a day goes by I don't think about her

I want her to know she is one of the first people I think about when I wake up each morning

I want her to know I pray for her every day, numerous times a day

I want her to know I love her in a way I can't explain

I want her to know contrary to what people think I should feel I don't feel threatened by her love for Eliana. She loves her as a mother loves her daughter, and I understand and embrace that.

I want her to know I do my best every day so if she were watching she would feel proud of me and proud that she chose me to be Eliana's mother
I want her to know I talk to Eliana every day all day and tell her how loved she is

I want her to know I give Eliana kisses from her every day

I want her to know when Eliana smiles it reminds me of her and I think of how much she resembles her

I want her to know I would give her anything in the world if it would help take away any pain she has

I want her to know I can't imagine how hard the holidays are going to be for her

I want her to know that her emails and texts bring me joy and I savor every one of them

I want her to know that I can not wait to see her again
I want her to know that Eliana will ALWAYS know how much she loved her and wanted the very best for her.

(I saw this on another blog, and I found it to be very much the way I feel)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

Part Two: We meet

To Read Part One Go Here

At the end of May, the secretary from the school comes running in my room. She can barely contain herself. The birth mother called her last night and left a message on her cell phone. She lets me know that she plans on calling her back first thing. Since we hadn't heard from her in a while, I kind of freak out. Quite honestly, I look all cool, calm, and collected on the outside. On the inside. I am freaking out. I try not to get too excited because I don't want to get my hopes up. Been there done that, and I couldn't stand another heart ache. Nonetheless, the office is directly across from my classroom, so I can hear everything. I am trying to do my morning routine, and I hear her in the other room talking to the birth mother. Freak out #2....again, only on the inside. During the conversation, the birth mother requests our birth mother letter. She had it read to her earlier but has never actually seen it. The secretary sent it to her straight after the conversation.

We wait another week with no word other than that she has said she would like to meet us, and she will contact us. Holy Cow...holy cow. Longest week of my life.

On Friday, we receive a phone call encouraging us to give the birth mother a call. She was just as nervous as we were, and somehow the ball just needed to get rolling. I receive call back from her on Saturday at our friend's wedding, and we set up a phone conversation immediately following the wedding. I am now super nervous. Holy Smokes! What is happening?!?!

On Saturday, we had the most amazing hour long conversation with the birth mother. I will call her K from now on for simplicity sake:) K is incredible! We love her immediately. As we spoke with her, every ounce of nervousness melted away. Somehow knowing we are all new at this and equally nervous canceled out my nervousness. During the conversation, we shared about ourselves...how we met, how we came to the point of wanting to adopt, and much more. We spent a good amount of time getting to know K too. We hung up the phone, having established our first face to face Meeting... the following weekend...memorial day. Bri and I hung up the phone, prayed, held each other, and gave it to the Lord.

Memorial Day finally comes, and we set out on our 2.5 hr car drive. I am now openly freaking out. Holy Smokes x2! This is all so strange...not ordinary! Yet, it all felt so right. We picked up K at her house. When I first saw her, I wanted to tackle her and hug her, but I withheld. A) because I thought it would freak her out B) She was pregnant and all. We ended up going to In N Out for lunch. Her son joined us, but her daughter was out of town with a friend. Lunch was pretty mellow...a lot of small talk. We then decided to go to the park together. I had brought a picture album with me to show K all of our family and friends. Brian primarily ran around chasing little man while K and I got to know each other. It was so incredible! It was like getting to know a new best friend. I shared stories, showed pictures, described family, described our philosophies on raising children. I had the best time. We switched off with little man a little as well, so Bri could get to know K as well.

We left with our heart full...all nervousness I had when arriving was replaced with awe. I was completely in awe of how God was working...how much he loved me to bring someone as amazing as K in my life. I knew no matter what that we would be friends forever....

It was still unclear how it would all pan out, but we knew without a shadow of doubt that God was at work...

Now some pictures... (with permission of course). These are all from our first visit with K after Eliana was born. I have some from Memorial Day, but I will have to search my hard drive for them, so those are to come later.
 Isn't K beautiful? This is K's daughter. We will call her giggles:)

 She loves her sister!


 Giggles! I love her smile! It melted me the first time I met her!

Here's Eliana's brother "Little Man." He is a ball of energy, with this sweet, gentle side of him that melts you. By the end of the first visit, he was cuddling us.

3 months

Baby Girl,
You are 3 months old! I can't even believe it...you are growing so incredibly fast. Daily we grow more in love with who you are. Your personality is blossoming, and we can't wait to see even more!
Photobucket

We weren't at home for your 3 month birthday, but we took a picture in Papa and Grandma's motor coach anyway. Here are a few of the things that you can do now: 
  • You rolled over for the first time on your 3 month birthday! Papa caught the second roll over on video. You didn't want to perform for the camera, so I gave you a little help getting going. 
  • You  love to smile. Anytime you see someone you know you give them a ginormous smile. 
  • You get super excited sometimes...especially at bath time. You give us this cough laugh thing and flex all your muscles. 
  • You love to play with your lips. You suck on them and imitate our chewing when we are eating. 
  • You are super strong. You hold up your head amazingly...you have almost since  you were born. 
  • During tummy time, you push your chest off the ground. 
  • You sleep 10-11 hours a night. You love your daily routine, and you stick to it. 
  • You are super laid back. You rarely ever cry...only when you are hungry, and I am not feeding you quickly enough. 
  • You eat 3-5 oz of formula every 3 hrs while you are awake. 
  • You are the easiest baby I have ever met for traveling. If we plan it right, you take your long nap and sleep the entire ride from LA to SLO. Crazy. You love your car seat.
  • You are still wearing your 0-3 months clothes. Your arms are too long for a lot of your long sleeves, but you are swimming in the 3-6 months  clothes.
  • Your shoes still don't really fit. You have super narrow teeny feet. 
  • You are grabbing your toys intentionally now. Last month you would bat them with your arms. You try to grab my food while I am eating.
  • You love animals. You get a huge smile on your face when one is around. 
  • You lick your hand like a lollipop. 
  • I can't have the TV on around you because you become entranced by it. 
I am sure I will think of more, but you are waking up from your nap. I love you so much sweet girl...I cannot imagine our lives without you. I know God has big plans for your life. Wherever we go people  want to know all about you...all about your story, and I am able to share God's miracle daily with strangers. Everyone who meets you falls in love. I don't blame them. You are amazing!

Love, 
Mommy (I waited a long time to say that word)

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

2 months old...

Some recent photos of Eliana as a 2 month old:)



Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Carseat shinanigans...

Silly girl. 
When she gets in the carseat and is tired, 
this is what she does. 
She yanks her headband down until it is over eyes. 
The moment it covers her eyes. 
BAM. 
She's out like a light.

Sweet fairy girl...