3 Years!

My Bubba,

Three years ago today...I had the great honor of becoming you wife. In these past three years, I have not only found myself to be your wife but helpmate, best friend, lover, companion, shoulder to lean into, and so much more.

I remember our wedding day...I was up the entire night before, begging God to let me sleep, but I was just too dang excited. I was definitely ready to be your wife. It was a long time coming, and I was ready to jump in two feet first. The morning of our wedding I was so sick, from a lack of sleep and with the excitement of it all.
I look back and am so excited that we were able to see each other before the wedding. We threw tradition out of the window, and it worked amazingly. As you stood at the cross, with your back turned towards the ocean, my nervousness disappeared. I had a strong urge at that moment to tackle you and tickle you, but I resisted :) I remember coming up behind you and covering your eyes from behind, and you turned to see me for the first time. I knew by looking in your eyes that I was beautiful.
Look at the picture below...that is a picture from our rehearsal...the last time we saw each other before becoming one.

These past 3 years have been just that...a process of us becoming more and more unified in our oneness. When I made that commitment to you on April 8, 2006, I made a promise to become one with you...It has been more than I could have asked for or imagine. Our wedding was amazing...I could care less that the video didn't work...all that mattered was you. I had my mind set and nothing was going to get in my way. I have never had a day where I felt more giddy than that day. I was jumping out of my skin in joy...I nearly bounced off the stage at one point:) Our reception was the BEST! We had so much fun...there was dancing galore (the shower, the worm, dancing to jazz music). It was a dream come true.

Thank you for being the husband that I always dreamed of. I remember drawing up one of those lists of all the things that were a requirement for my husband. You fit the bill: must not snore, must not have bad B.O., and "tall, dark, and handsome". I love the way you make me laugh. We both are kids at heart and will do anything for a laugh. I love that one of our favorite past times is to make faces, hence the number of pictures we have with distorted faces.
I love the way you leave notes on my spot in bed or in my car weekly just to remind me how much you love me. I love the way you text message me every morning to tell me that you love me. I love that you think I'm beautiful even when I gain a few extra pounds or wake up on the wrong side of bed. I love the way you love me!
Thank you for putting up with me. A strong willed, pig headed, goofball, who acts like an annoying big sister at times. Thank you for loving me even when I jump out at you from around the corner because I know you startle easy just so I can laugh. Thank you for moving the furniture back into it's place just because you know that it annoys me when things are out of place. Thank you for understanding my bubble. Sometimes I have a big space bubble, and you still love me...even though you don't have a bubble:)
Thank you for your devotion to Jesus and your determination to lead our family into miraculous things. You are the real deal...you love Jesus more than anyone I know. I know we always say this to each other, but it is so true..."I would not want to do this journey with anyone else." Sometimes I thank God that we both can't have babies on our own...We would have both faced this, no matter who we married, but I am thankful that we can cling to each other through this...that I get to walk with you. I love you more than the mountains and the seas and the oceans. You are my love...Here is to 97 more years of marriage!
<3 Your Stinky Monkey Winky

Hideous Outfit...

Found a picture from our Engagement Day, so you can witness the hideous outfit:) Literally, this is the only picture I have from that night.
p.s. I look like I'm 10 :)

Day Before our Anniversary!

Welcome to our Wedding Day!
Here are a couple pictures to hold you over until tomorrow.

Brian's Daddy...

I promised I would devote a whole blog to Brian's Dad. Finally finding some pictures, I decided there is no better day than today!

Meet Joseph Dean...most people call him Joe Dean. He is amazing...He loves his family, has a servant's heart, and really seeks to know God more and more every day.

When I became a part of the Dean clan, I was very excited to have Daddy Dean as my father-in-law. He accepted me with wide open arms and a warm hug.


He also has a wonderful sense of humor that is right at my level...
He also doesn't mind laughing at himself which I believe is one of the best qualities someone can have. It helps you to deal with life:)

I love knowing that Brian will be a Dad just like him one day.





When I look at pictures of Brian and his dad together, I am always blown away at how similar they look. I am thankful to know that he has some great genes!

I love you Daddy Dean!

Our Engagement...

One of our Engagement Shots by a friend in LA.

So....I know that you are all absolutely dying to know how he finally popped the question. It was in September of 2005. We had been dating for 4 years now, and I was more than ready to see this thing moving forward. He came home for the end of the summer for 2 weeks before his quarter began again, and he had decided that it was time to buy me a ring. He researched and looked the entire time and finally bought the ring on a Friday. He led the woman who was selling him the ring to Christ...not kidding you...She was in tears...the real deal. Anyway, he went directly from buying the ring to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. If anyone knows my dad, you know he is a sales man #1 and #2 he knows me really well. Of course, my dad said yes, and he then encouraged him to ask me sooner, rather than later. He said..."What about this Sunday...at church?" I think Brian nearly pooed his pants. My dad convinced him because he knows how hard I am to surprise. I am the queen of figuring out plans and asking too many questions. When I sense something is up, I will dig deep until I figure what is going on. Anyway, Brian agreed this would be the best plan.

From my understanding, these were the three most excruciating days of Brian's life... he had permanent poopie pants and could not stop thinking about what he was about to do. Sunday roles around...I have no clue by the way... We go to church. I remember that the worship was amazing that day. They were serving communion that evening, and I was taking my sweet old time getting back to the communion table. I stopped to say Hi to everyone and their mom. I remember Brian pushing me a long and trying to hurry me, and I remember thinking, "Geese, What's his problem?" Apparently, my parents were in the back, and he was doing everything in his power to make sure I did not see them. We returned to our seats...Brian sat on the end, two seats from me. I thought he was just being a weirdo, so I just let him be. He was trying to get me to scootch over, but obviously, I was not getting the clue. We sang..."Grace Like Rain," and I was worshiping my heart out, completely unaware that Brian was now hunched over ready to barf beside me. Nonetheless, the service ends.

At the end of each service, they always had a benediction, where the pastor prays for the congregation. Tim invited up Brian to do the benediction. I thought this was slightly odd, but I still had no clue. He began speaking and was in general talking about the church and it's role in our relationship development....I am sitting there still clueless, until he says..."And this is why I wanted to do this in front of all of you." He looks straight at me. The light bulb turns and badaboom badabing I finally get it. He was proposing! Holy junk monkeys!

He told me that it would be his honor if I would take him as my husband...he loved me more than the mountains and the seas and the oceans...blah blah blah...I don't remember anything else because I was crying. Of course, I finally said yes. BTW, I was wearing the most hideous outfit in the whole wide world that day. I had my hair in a pony tail and was sporting the hot pink "eat at joe's" t-shirt. Anyway, there was much rejoicing and hugging. My parents appeared...I cried harder. Everyone was crying. It was splendid.

We went to coffee bean to regroup...My parents sat in the KOO KOO ROO's next door and watched us :) We spent 15 minutes regrouping going... holy crud you're my fiance...holy crudded some more, and it was time for him to drive back up to San Luis Obispo. It was a crazy night and the perfect engagement!

And So it Begins...

I will attempt to break down our dating experience: 4.5 years into some different subtitles in order to not bore you and give you hope that there is a happy ending to this story:)

1. Boundaries and What the heck are we doing?: This is phase one of our dating experience. This consists of the first year and a half of our dating. We were both at the same junior college and attempting to figure out this whole dating thing. We are both rule followers, so much of this time was spent setting up boundaries...deciding what we really were, what we really could do, and enjoying the ushy gushy feelings that came from being a "couple."

2. Get to know my family or Else!: Phase 2...After dating for a year or so, I suddenly had the revelation that Brian avoided my family like the plague. I was discontented by this, as you can imagine. I love my family dearly, as does he, and I knew that if this was to continue he was going to have to overcome this obstacle. I remember the night the I spilled the beans. We were at the beach, and I shared my concern with him. It was stinkin scary because I basically let him know that if he wanted me...he would have to get to know my family. It was an ultimatum of sorts, and I was taking a huge risk calling him on this. Without a doubt, I know that it was the right thing to do. Brian has always been one that understands deeply the call to commitment that a real relationship requires. He knew that this getting to know my family really was a step up in his level of commitment. Luckily, he heard very clearly from the Lord and something changed; he started to come to my house more, and he got to know my amazing family. Now, they have a wonderful relationship, which I am so thankful for!

3. "You're doing what!" (Sob, Sob, tear, Wah!): Phase 3....Brian decides to move away. I transfered to Long Beach State a semester before Brian moved up to Cal Poly. When I found out he was moving, I faced some major fear. What if....he finds some gorgeous loves Jesus amazing woman in SLO and figures out that I am really am lame, what if he forgets about me, what if the long distance thing just doesn't work. In my mind I was genuinely freaking out with the "what ifs." In my heart, I was calm because I heard the Lord's voice ever so clearly saying, "He's worth the Wait." We stepped out on faith and decided to continue the relationship as he made the move to San Luis Obispo.

4. Three Years of Long Distance: Yes...We dated three years long distance, while Brian finished his BS at Cal Poly in Civil Engineering and while I finished my BA and credential at Long Beach State. I've heard many people say that long distance either makes you or breaks you. It was difficult...Only being able to see your Boyfriend once a month is not easy. We became expert communicators because...well, that's all we did...communicate. We decided to get a seriously good cell phone plan and found the best places to be alone and talk. I think we worked through most issues that people face in there first 3 years of marriage. We talked about it all because that's all we really could do...talk. At some points, I remember wanting to give up...it would be so much easier to date someone who I could actually see, but I stood firm to the word the Lord had spoken to me..."he's worth the wait." We would trade off driving to see each other...spend our Saturdays together and drive home again. It became second nature.
I can look back now and see God's hand in this season of our lives. Because we were long distance: 1. We were able to seek the Lord in finding ourselves...who we are in Christ, apart from each other. 2. We were protected in so many ways: physically remaining pure (we were 210 miles apart...not much can happen there). This was the best gift I was able to give my husband by the way! We were also protected from the vail of oooey goooeyness of falling in love. We still had those oooey goooey feelings, but we were forced to be in this for the right reasons.
Finally, 4 years had passed. I was graduating soon and so was Brian...talk of getting married became more and more real, but there was one problem... he wanted me to move to San Luis Obispo. Say What?!!!!?

To Be continued...

Psalm 113...

1 Praise the LORD.

Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.

² Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.

³ From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.

⁴ The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.

⁵ Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,

⁶ who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?

⁷ He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;

⁸ he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.

⁹ He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD.

Thank you Jacki for sharing this with me...In all of my times going through the Psalms, this particular Psalm did not hold the same meaning to me as it does now.

This is a promise I am going to Grab a hold of and run with...anyone want to run with me?

I will praise the Lord in this storm...he is good no matter how I feel...his plans are the best for me, no matter how I may doubt....his love for me never fails or shrinks, although I may struggle to feel it. God is still God and I will praise his name because He is worthy to be praised! He is faithful...we will see our Eliana Faith...she is in the works. I will be a happy mother abiding in my hope with children. Praise the Lord!

P.S. Also, I am writing the next portion of our love story. I want to end it on our Anniversary: April 8th!

P.s.s. Meet Booger...yes I named him Booger...(Boogers, farts, and burps make me belly laugh). Anyway, he is the class pet. The kids in my classroom love him, and he puts up with a lot from them and me, without biting. He got his hair styled today for crazy hair day...He sat calmly as I put gel in his hair and spiked it. He was a big hit school wide!